Jun 042013
 

Guy,

My girlfriend wants to travel to the Hawaii Mountains to study Finding Ourselves thru Abstinence.  This sounds fine to me, except we are going to live for three months in a clothing optional, hot-springs area with about seventy-five other men and women. We will also be practicing yoga, meditation and dance every day.

Guy, I am not lost, and I am pretty sure I can “find myself” even in the dark.  I am not sure she is lost either.  My friends joke that if I want to practice abstinence, I should get married (haha) and that this place sounds like Club Hedonism with a Guru.  My girlfriend is going to pay for the retreat; I just have to pay for the airfare.  Should I go?  This really is a different experience for me, and seems like a commitment to change for my girlfriend

Len
thinking-man-1366366764qo6

Response

Len,

This place sounds like the Island of Temptation, rather than the Monk’s Mountain Cave where most men would practice abstinence. If you go, you must play the game 100% with her and the group and support your partner in the journey.  There is no halfway, half-assed participation. This means “failure of the journey in finding one’s self” because you commit to the rules when you commit the trip.

It’s your life, this could work, or not.  If you do not go, and she does, when she returns from the trip enlightened, and tan all over, you might not be in the proper mindset to support her reentry in real life.

In the end, it’s time to come to terms with your relationship status. If this is the girl for you, then go full throttle. If you aren’t in this for the long haul, sit this one out.  In other words, you don’t necessarily have to change your entire being, but if this were the girl for you, you would be willing to do anything to make her happy.

Written by: Angel - Angel writes from a commitment perspective. She has published articles and books and appeared at civic events.

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