It is an expression. Everyone has a unique relationship. We’re people, we’re different, and each relationship is unique among others. We bring our physical selves to this ongoing event, and we also bring energies, spirit, and sometimes the proverbial “age old gender roles”. Yes, even though we are all now more sensitive and politically correct than ever, we still have some age old stereotypes built in.
My inspiration for today’s reflection was an event that happened to me today, this morning, while I was still asleep, …in my room. My female housemate was up at the crack of dawn preparing to find “true earth” in the garden and relaxing making toast in the quiet kitchen. Apparently the toast got stuck in the toaster and filled the room with toast-smoke.
My part came into this when my room door flew open and she comes running in with the smoke alarm blaring, and then throws it on my bed and walks back out, saying “can you fix this? It won’t stop beeping”. Of course the alarm turned itself off as it had been removed from the kitchen and there was no smoke in my room, …but I couldn’t go back to sleep without exploring “the rest of the situation”.
Well, the Kitchen? still smoky; The Ceiling? Torn plaster traces of where she had unceremoniously ripped the offending beeping device from it’s ceiling mount (ouch!). My Housemate: calmly sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea, and eating charred toast. And Me: Dazed and confused, but I pulled it together and said to her: “Smoke Alarm all fixed now! I’ll hang it up later when I get up again…”
My “Guy” role: Mr. Fix-it, aka “being the guy in the relationship”
A note from the author: The role of “being the guy in the relationship” is not gender specific. It deals with certain skills the other person perceives you have, or should have because you are in “that traditional role in the relationship”. This gender role skill can be invoked on you at any time. Recent Example: I once was at a BBQ party in the Castro with about twenty other guys. Everyone brought delicious foods to cook, china plates, silverware, wines, and pretty much all the fixins for a party. Problem: Not one of them was prepared to be the BBQ Guy. No one even brought anything to light the charcoal. I brought matches, found twigs… etc. Was I “the guy” among the twenty guys? Well, Yes! …I was “assigned the Guy” role in this case.