So if you didn’t chat up your lovely yesterday, or any lovely for that matter, the moment has passed. A rose is a rose by any other name, but making it show up on Valentines Day is what counts. So those of you who executed this event perfectly, who have no lasting thoughts of “I could have planned this better”, then you all may stand up and leave the room now.
And now for the predictable rest of us, it appears from statistical evidence that most men purchase their Valentines Day gifts on the way home that particular day. They have a dollar amount in mind and generally go to the type of store which specializes in that genre of gift: flowers=florist, chocolates=chocolate store, jewelry=jewelry store. Is it any wonder that men have stress over this? How hard can it be? Duh!
The one day we are expected to act in a certain predictable way, we stress at even doing that. Considering the emotional pain we feel at failure in this simple task, it is amazing that there is not more time in the planning or doing it.
I know of a fellow which buys his lovely gifts spontaneously throughout the year. Serious gifts like a car, a vacation, and jewelry, and he even goes shopping with her for hours just to be there to pick up the tab for beautiful outfits she would never buy for herself. The story he told of just forgetting Valentines Day one year, to the point of not even getting her a single rose, led to her even crying a little. He said he broke her spirit of feeling special. So much for logic. This one special day is her special day. It’s almost a test of guy sensitivity.
OK, we’ve beaten ourselves up enough over this – it’s over. Days ago, time passes. So what’s this talk of personal shortcomings in relationships? A woman wants to feel special just to you, and of course she is very special just to you, but she needs to see it and feel it. So this is really an article about tomorrow, and how you can be that winning special guy just for her. Sort of like Valentines Day warmup for next year.
Remember, it is in the doing that counts, not in the words. Here are three not-so-simple ways you can show your special one that you know and understand her, you think about her, and you want to have fun with her.
#1 Bring home something she likes. On the way home, spontaneously buy her favorite magazine, the newspaper, a potted flower, something simple, not even expensive. It will make the rest of your evening surprisingly positive.
#2 Take a day trip together. See a new town or place just to try a different restaurant. Go to a museum or someplace which has quiet relaxing space and things to see at a leisurely pace. And when you are there, buy her a piece of clothing she is looking at, or nick-knack, or shoes or boots.
#3 Sleep in a different bed. Just get up one day and say to her “We need to run away for a weekend.” Note, this does bring up a new set of circumstances as to choosing a place to run away to, so I will give you one easy tip: Google spa vacation areas close to you. They will have restaurants you both like, something for men to do while she has a facial or whatever, and great little bed and breakfasts so she can feel connected to you while the other woman home does breakfast.
Being with a man whose fun and wants to have fun with her is what she really wants. Sharing an experience, even a thought, will do it for her. Its so simple, almost as simple as the roses on Valentines Day.
So this Valentines Day is gone, let that day be the marker of a new start in your relationship. It’ll be another year before you tangle with Cupid’s most challenging love test again. Meanwhile, be up to the task today.