Come On Cosmo! …75 ways?

Cosmo June 2010

This is not about us guys knowing 75 ways to have sex, but really about “Les Femmes actually thinking that we do know 75 ways!”  Talk about setting unrealistic expectations in women about men, or that “we men really this hidden knowledge but aren’t telling …or even worse: doing”.  Wow.

So as you read this, she’s probably looking at your picture and thinking/dreaming that once you two get married you will unleash this hidden knowledge, and she will be ecstatic the rest of her life, by you of course!  She equates this ‘knowledge of you pleasing her’ you to ‘a year round flower garden’ plus a lifetime pass at the ‘magic waters health spa’…  Amazing, sign me up!

Of course there’s the here & now, the present:  like if you had sixty-nine other ways to have sex why haven’t you used them yet?  No problem, she knows she has yet to scratch the surface of your magical seventy-five ways …oh you secret master you.  I expect you also possess some hidden knowledge of the  “secrets of the pyramids”.

And if her having this belief isn’t amazing enough, she got these beliefs “without you even opening your mouth”!   Now you can see the “Guy Mystique”?   The mystique is in the ‘eye of the beholder’, not actually in the “guy”.

Now “who really cares” about all these false beliefs and mystique?  Generally, not us guys!  Evidence:  Follow the money – I see men’s magazines featuring “How to install a sub-woofer in the bed of your pickup truck” or “reviews of the 20 best digital whatevers”.  Titles like Rock Climbing Digest, NASCAR news, Kung-Fu Gamer, and on.  No visible evidence of books or articles sharing with us men the  expectations women which might have about men in relationships.

The closest things men get to relationship advice are:  1> Pictures/videos of babes – what we’re supposed to imagine as we look at these I am sure has very little to do us with pleasing future mates.  And 2>  Articles in Men’s magazines which give tips on the mechanical process with a couple “bring flowers” phrases added in for ambiance.  Change a few words in these articles and it could be named “change your oil in three easy steps” or “build a deck in under 5 minutes”.  Such a fate we have.

There are reasons for this though.  Mostly us guys really don’t thirst for this “self-correction knowledge”.  If Sales of Men’s Self-Help books are any indication, we’re just not seeking betterment through the manual learning process – then “How do men learn?” I asked myself.

I did ask a friend of mine.  He said he doesn’t read those books because his girlfriend does all the correcting he needs.  He is a computer programmer and he equated this ‘service’ from his girlfriend as a self-running program 24 hours-a-day designed to ‘make him a better man’ without any input or effort on his part.  He even gets coordinated clothes advice.  When I asked him about the “cost”, he said “What cost? I come out ahead no matter what.  If we break up I’m more enlightened for the next one”.

But can he get a positive review from his last girlfriend for the next?  Oh, we are soooo shallow!