As a man and father of two I can say that success at Valentine’s Day has continually eluded me. Maybe it’s a mental block that stops me from doing any preparation such as searching for a gift, or even a card, or even an evening out. How small I can be about certain things, like Relationships.
So I open the question up: “What do women want?” and “What do women want on Valentine’s Day?” Well, after years of Valentine’s Days with mixed results I may actually have some cogent thoughts on the subject.
First and foremost, she would like to believe that “You actually planned for her Valentine’s Day”. Note: This is the ‘Action part’ of Valentine’s day for us guys. She wants to ‘believe’ that ‘that you care about her’. It’s the belief in her heart that does the trick, not the actual gift, card or dinner. That really means “give her the gift, the card, the dinner with love” and sincerity. Blind love* works even better.
I suppose that “planning thing” also excludes buying anything from CVS or Walgreens. Translation: You need to shop at a store that sells little unique things woman might want. Try the little unique gift stores in the center of your town, like a little curio/gift shop of which she might actually shop at.
Jewelry is not a requirement here but it does always work. A necklace or earrings you want to see her wearing are what she wants. Note: go immediately to the jewelry option if you just bought a new toy or tool for yourself the week before. Remember, a gift includes as standard equipment: wrapping paper and a card.
Double Bonus for pre-Valentine’s Day planning and gift wrapping actions: You can give her the gift Valentine’s morning and she will love you all day for it. Plus she can show it to her girlfriends at work. Note: this showing it to her girlfriends wins her double points also as she will be the only one who has ‘proof’ you thought of Valentine’s day beforehand as ‘how else could you have given this gift in the morning’.
Pre-planning actions count more! than the actual gift itself, by the way. And for you, she does not have to spend the day anticipating the yearly disappointment of another ‘No thought Valentine’s Day’ only to come true as nightfall’s. Triple bonus for her: she can Facebook all of her friends about how wonderful you are, which of course really means “How smart she is to have chosen you and managed you to this high level of relationship knowledge”. Oh reader of guyMystique, You too can be the Master of Connection with this new knowledge and a little action.
Well that’s it guys. There is of course “more to the story” but come on, we’re guys here. Show her she’s special by planning days before the event. Note: This is a Skill, not a talent.
Resources: My path to enlightenment has been helped immeasurably by playing Do Tell Game for Grownups with other couples. It works.